Changes

There are a lot of changes happening in my life right now.

With open arms I welcome them.

Unafraid because the LORD himself has been preparing me for a while now.

I stand amazed at His goodness and grace.

Isaiah 43:15-19

15 I am the LORD, your Holy One,
Israel's Creator, your King."

16 This is what the LORD says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,

17 who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

I got a new soul-mate friend, Jay (note to self: Sarha, when God speaks-listen and obey. He knows what He's doing and has good things in store for me. "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires!" Song of Solomon 8:4)

After a little over a year, last Friday I became a member of my congregation, Sha'ar Hashamayim. I am also their new Treasurer. I am so honored and blessed to be a part of this incredible family. I am truly HOME!

I just had my One Year Anniversary with Harvard Magazine and was asked to take on a new role in addition to my Gift Processing duties. The Classifieds Department's sole financial person. This is a great opportunity and I am genuinely excited to learn new things. I am also growing in confidence daily as I gain more knowledge for the future.

I am finally in a good place in my life where I truly value bettering my health. This is no longer a life long "New Year's Resolution" but a REAL way of life for me. I haven't been super restrictive but I am just choosing foods more wisely and staying away from "carb central". I know that when I board the carb train, it ends up taking me for a long ride and then decides to stay with me. So, I naturally have gotten better with lowering my carb intake. I've also cut out "emotional junk food fests" and instead I ask myself, "Am I really hungry, What's the real problem?" When I diagnose the problem properly then I can learn to treat it in the right way. I've also been walking a lot. It has helped that Melissa, Mike, Jay and I have been a team and a good support for each other. I still have a long way to go but I am ecstatic that for the 1st time in I don't actually know how many years, I am under 200 pounds! I currently weigh in at 197 and last year I got to my highest of 218! Thank you God for giving me the strength, courage, desire and stamina to keep moving forward!!!

I just got a new big, beautiful and so Sarha friendly apartment in Quincy Center with my friend and new roommate Sandra from church. God totally EXCEEDED my expectations with this place!!! It is on the 2nd floor of a two family house, has a 3 season sun room, a small back porch and large common area deck downstairs with a big bench and grill, tons of windows that let in lots of natural light which keeps the energy costs low, spacious living room, dining room and kitchen, brand new dishwasher, garbage disposal, toilet and bathroom sink and vanity, central air/heat, 2 ceiling fan/light fixtures, built in dining room hutch, newer berber looking carpet, our own laundry room right off the kitchen-no more going down to a basement to do laundry!, new paint, 2 good sized bedrooms and our own parking lot. The location is awesome! I will still be close enough where I can walk to the subway and not have to drive! The neighborhood is great and quiet with parks, restaurants and shops nearby. We are so excited to move in February 1st!!!!! I haven't had my "own place" since Heather Glen days back in Orlando. I MISS YOU TARA!!!!!!

God is so close to my heart. I feel the warmth of His touch as He holds my life in His hands, treasuring every moment with me and knowing that this is only the start of a Life Eternal with His Beloved!

Deuteronomy 33:12

12 "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders."

No, really...we're "just friends", right???

Lately, it seems to be as if Jay & I are the newest movie featured on the Lifetime channel (as Mike puts it LOL). We've been good acquaintances for over a year through church, then I think in late November we just seemed to discover each other out of nowhere. Where the heck did he come from? Better yet, how did he fly under the radar without me detecting his awesomeness? LOL. It has been interesting. Since late Nov/early Dec we have spent almost every day either together or talking on the phone...um or both. :-) We found out that just when we thought we were so different...we were the same in so many cool ways. We just genuinely enjoy each others friendship and getting to know each other more as each day passes. We have gone on a couple dates and had some "snuggle fests", which later proved to be a bit much-Oops!

Unfortunately, you don't know how things are going to go until you experience them. I am so thankful for learning experiences, in the present and in hindsight. As a woman, well I guess I should not generalize women and say, For Sarha-it is hard not to let my heart jump ahead of my mind. My heart really started to feel a lot of things for Jay in just a months time-which freaked both of us out. I had NEVER felt those emotions for ANY man before in my entire life. IT WAS WEIRD!!!!! So, understandably that freaked Jay out. Initially I was DEVASTATED that his heart didn't match mine. He also did admit to unintentionally leading me on. To me it seemed as if we were both on the same page, at least outwardly. So, when we had "the talk", it came out that he felt like things were moving too fast and he feels bad that it takes him longer to "get there".

So, after that talk we have still been talking and hanging out but there haven't been any "snuggle fests", LOL. Which now I do see as being a good thing. We've even started a new healthier way of eating (along with Mike & Melissa) and are encouraging each other to live a better lifestyle. Jay & I are walking buddies too. I think we make a good team. :-) We are friends foremost but are still open to the possibility of becoming more. Only time and God will tell.

It is what it is.

And it is SO GOOD!!!

"Just Friends" and Lessons I've learned from God...

Jay & I are just friends and I am surprising really OK with that. I can confidently say that it is God and God alone who is definitely helping me out with this. The LORD has really protected and shielded my heart.....even when I wasn't guarding it as well as I should have. I am extremely grateful for my continued friendship with Jay and the many wonderful things we shared and taught each other. It is what it is Jay Jay!!!!! :-) I also wanted to share just some of the many lessons the LORD has been teaching me lately through HIS WORD!!! They are pretty lengthy but definitely worth the read. I pray in the Life Giving and Powerful Name of our Holy Lord Jesus Christ, that you are strengthened and built up in your walk with HIM!!!

Jeremiah 17:5-10

5 This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

9 The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

10 "I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve."

Song of Solomon 8:4

4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

Proverbs 15:32-33

32 He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.

33 The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom,
and humility comes before honor.

1 Peter 3:8-9

8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Acts 11:19-24

19Now those who had been scattered by the persecution in connection with Stephen traveled as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus and Antioch, telling the message only to Jews. 20Some of them, however, men from Cyprus and Cyrene, went to Antioch and began to speak to Greeks also, telling them the good news about the Lord Jesus. 21The Lord's hand was with them, and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord.

22News of this reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. 23When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. 24He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord.

Acts 20:23-24

23I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. 24However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

1 Corinthians 15:9-11

9For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 11Whether, then, it was I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed.

1 Thessalonians 5:10-11

10He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.
11Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Hebrews 3:12-14

12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. 14We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.

2 Peter 1:5-8

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 4:3-5, 18-21

3I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

18Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you. 19But I will come to you very soon, if the Lord is willing, and then I will find out not only how these arrogant people are talking, but what power they have. 20For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. 21What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?

Ephesians 4:1-6, 11-16

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

11It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

From my journal. 1-2-08 Wed 2:40pm.

God-first of all-I praise you. I thank you for everything. The highs and lows of my life. The love you've shown me is incredible. I am not meaning to seem prideful when I say this but I used to not feel like I deserved your love or was worthy of it. Now-I not only feel that I am worthy of and deserve your love-but I truly believe it! You are my bridegroom and nobody on the face of this earth will ever be that or take your place. Not even my future husband someday. Not even my future children. Not even the church. Not even missions. No desire of my heart will EVER be greater than my love for you and my desire to know you more intimately everyday. You are the love of my life, my all, my great romance. I love you. I love you! I love you!

There are several things on my heart-the main thing is Jay Jay. I love him and I'm not sorry for it. He is my brother. He is my best friend. I love him like I love my family. He is the missing piece that I didn't fully know I needed. Right now his heart doesn't match where mine is at and that's OK. He's not doing anything wrong. We are just moving at different paces. That's human. That's normal. Help me Lord to guard my heart as best as I can being a woman who is an emotional, sensitive, hugely affectionate love bug. Help me to stop before I know I should stop and help me to be prepared before moving forward.

Above all things LORD-You are my Master, my Maker, my Daddy and my Bridegroom. You have the key to my heart that only Jesus owns.

I LOVE YOU!
Sarha