I'm a silly monkey...

How can I hear God when I fill my ears with other voices?

How can I see God when I don't cast my eyes toward His gaze?

How can I speak to Him when my lips drip with foulness?

I was talking to my cousin today about my horrible attitude and the ugliness of my heart lately. She asked me if I had been going to church. My reply was No. She asked me if I had been going to small group. Again my reply was No. She then said, "Sarha, you are starving yourself. You're not even eating little scraps from under the table?" Wow, she is right. I haven't even been spending much (if any) time in God's Word lately. I was doing really well with that when Maria was having her treatments Mon-Fri. I would stay in the waiting room or out in the car and read my bible and pray everyday. I was on a good schedule. Now Maria is on a break from treatments and I have let go of the habit I built. I have no excuses really. I have all the time in the world and I still don't sit down at the feet of Jesus. I need to get back into it again. I felt so much better and God always had a Word for me. I also need to get over whatever past issues I had with church and just go. There are people there that love me and speak wholesome truth into my life. I need to get with other believers regularly, whether that's in a small group or one on one with someone. I need fellowship, community and prayer to survive. I know this!!! Thanks for being patient with me God!