Somewhere in-between Fear and Faith

I am scared. My sister is not well. Just last month she was doing great.....tumors had shrunk so much that one of them barely picked up on the MRI. It was a miracle! Now they say they have found something "new". Now she can barely eat or stay awake throughout the day. Mom is on a much needed overnight retreat with her sister so I came to stay at my parent's for the weekend to be with Maria & Evan. As soon as I walked through the door and saw and heard my sister fear flooded me. Right away I saw how much thinner she's gotten just from the last time I saw her 2 weeks ago. Then witnessing her mind not being sound did me in. As soon as the fear hits I have to pray.

"OK LORD, the fear is back again, please take it away. I know that you told me that Maria is healed. I know that you gave me Psalm 118 for her and in that it says 'I will not die but I will live to tell what the Lord has done!' I know that you spoke the words 'Dissolve and Destroy' to my mother and she believed you were speaking to the cancer. So what the heck is going on? This doesn't make sense. Help me to trust you!"

Then I wrestle with some pretty morbid thoughts and I have to fight them off as if flailing my arms around to ward of a swarm of bees. Speaking of bees, Psalm 118:10-14 says...

10 Though hostile nations surrounded me, I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord. 11 Yes, they surrounded and attacked me, but I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord. 12 They swarmed around me like bees; they blazed against me like a crackling fire. But I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord. 13 My enemies did their best to kill me, but the Lord rescued me. 14 The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.

When I'm afraid and my faith starts to weaken, God repeatedly calls out and says "DO NOT FEAR FOR I AM WITH YOU!"

Psalm 27
Of David.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. 4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. 5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. 7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. 13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.