So much has been going on....good stuff though. Work, church, family and home life have been great. My only real complaint I would say has been that I keep getting sick. The weather really fluctuates here. When I first arrived in late December 2006 it was between 40-50 degrees which was awesome and I only needed to wear a light jacket or sweater. Then the weather went down to the low 20's-mid 30's on average and even plummeted to 3 degrees one day. Last weekend it was beautiful and strangely warm-58 degrees!!!! Now it's back in the teens and once again I am sick. I hope I get used to the weather soon-my body needs a break!
God has used the cold weather to speak something so deep to me that pierced my heart. He said, "Like the ice that's frozen all around you, I will thaw the hearts of these people." I pray that He does! I am clinging to that wonderful promise. I have been reading so much of the Word and it continues to be explosive and enlightening in a way that I never experienced before moving back to MA. The Gospel has been afresh in my heart and I feel that God is building up my knowledge of the Word and confidence in speaking it out in a huge way!!! It has been really exciting. One day I was just so taken back and amazed at how far I have come since I came to know the Lord......how far removed from my old life I am......how I don't even really know how to live the way I used to anymore.......how it would feel like I was pretending if I even tried to live an ungodly life. I mean don't get me wrong, I am still a sinner, but I don't want to deliberately sin anymore. God has been teaching me a whole lot more about sin and obedience. Not obeying just because in the end it's good for me, which it is, but because I whole-heartedly love my Heavenly Father and want to live according to His ways. I truly want to be holy because God is holy and I am His child.
1 Peter 1:15-16 And I want to share in His holiness. Hebrews 12
God has also shown me some things that are of new interest to me....things that I never really gave much or any thought to before. For instance, there is a high school right down the street from my house that I walk by everyday on my way to the subway station. I see teenagers out there all the time and there is also a G.O.A.L.S. program center directly across the street from the school. I suddenly felt a bit of a burden for high schoolers that I didn't have before. About five years ago I used to volunteer with my old church's youth group. The main things that I did was make lunches for the group and pray for them. I didn't really have one on one bonding time with any of them....well maybe with the exception of one student. For some strange reason I had felt really intimidated by youth and didn't know how to possibly relate to them. So often, whenever I was around youth I felt just like I did when I was a teenager-a bit of a loner at times and very shy. So, I don't know if God wants to do something with this or not. I'm open to it though.
It's no secret that I have a heart for the nations to be reached and since being here in Boston it has increased big time!!! Boston and surrounding cities are so international. The neighborhood where I live in North Quincy is very Asian. When I ride the subway I love looking around at all the people....such a variety. Today I was struck with how God created us all so different and unique. I can't even count how many nations were represented from just my subway rides! I get so excited hearing people speak in different languages and it gives me a glimpse of what it will be like in heaven one day-when all nations will come and worship before God. Revelation 15:3-4
God has been doing some awesome things in the lives of my family members. We have really been experiencing His goodness.....to the point of overflowing! Maria's brain shunt surgery went great! She was released from the hospital the very next afternoon! She wasn't in any pain either. Mom & I saw an immediate difference in how she looked (so much color back in her face) and walked. She is such a trooper. She also finally received social security for her & Evan. What a burden the Lord has lifted! God is amazing! Please continue to pray for her. She starts a new chemo treatment tomorrow.
A really cool thing happened a couple weeks ago when my cousins & I went to my mom's for the weekend. Maria had been telling me that she's been craving some good Praise & Worship, so we brought it right to her. Mike plays the guitar and he, myself and Melissa all sing well-so we led a time of worship and prayer for Maria. It was me, Mike, Melissa, Maria, Evan, Mom and my cousins Cindy and her daughter Gwen.
I was very encouraged that Gwen came. She has been very closed off to God and now there is definitely evidence of change. She has started attending a weekly bible study that my cousin Jamie leads and she stayed for the whole worship & prayer time for Maria-and even sang along a bit! She said that she really enjoys the bible studies and the way that our cousin Jamie breaks down the Word in a way that she can understand. Please pray for Gwen-that she would be one who receives the seed that fell on good soil, hears the word and understands it and produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Matthew 13:23 I was also touched in a very special way as I watched my 3 yr old nephew move to the music during worship. After we finished praying he looked up and said, "I like those stories." Mom & Maria told me that he loves to pray and go to church with our cousin Laureen (Jamie's mother). Little Evan is so precious! What a warrior for God I pray he will become one day.
I've also been thinking lately about my future husband. I currently am not involved in a relationship nor are there any prospects on the horizon. I've been reading up more on the scriptures that address marriage and singleness and have been challenged in a new way. One thing that really struck me was where it says, "I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
My heart really wants to do whatever will help me serve the Lord the best, with as few distractions as possible. So, am I saying that I think I have been called to singleness? I don't think I'm saying that. I am saying that I have sought the Lord and prayed about that more. However, I do believe with all of my heart that the Lord told me that I am going to be married. I believe He's also given me bold promises for me, my husband and our future children. But, I am not married, I am 28 which in this day and age in society (and to some of my family) is like 50-so my time is quickly running out right?! Well, I honestly don't think it is. I am content right where God has me in my life right now. I am confident that I am where He wants me to be. I know what the Lord spoke to me in our secret place and I will continue to treasure up all these things and pondered them in my heart just as Mary did when the shepherds spread the news of Jesus' birth. Luke 2:19
I want God to have His way in every area-every little nook and cranny of my life. I don't want to be unwilling or refuse to yield to Him. I pray that I choose to follow in His footsteps daily.....even though His footprints are bigger than my little feet. He knows that. And I know that I can rest in His shadow and dwell in safety there.
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
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