God WANTS to bless me because He LOVES me!!!

I have to testify about God's goodness. I can not contain it! He just keeps completely amazing me. So, for the past couple of weeks or so I have been struggling. I've struggled with not believing the truth about myself and who God and others say I am. I've been feeling so insecure, weak and that I don't have anything great to offer anyone, especially God. I have chosen to let worry and fear constantly creep in instead of faith, excitement, joy and expectation.

Just a couple weeks ago I was talking on the phone with my cousin and cried hysterically.......freaking out because of all the unknowns involved with moving to MA. I also dug deeper into my heart and found something that was burried pretty deep. I uncovered that I was upset with God because I felt like I had no purpose and that He hadn't told me yet what my purpose in His big plan was.

My cousin said something to me that I just couldn't believe for myself. She said, "What if He doesn't want to tell you yet? What if He just doesn't want you to do anything right now and just wants to bless you? Her questions just didn't compute in my brain and my response was this...."That is just absurd! Why would He just want to bless me? I haven't done anything for Him to bless me!"

Well, yesterday something absolutely amazing happened to me. God gave me a double blessing, literally! I received a huge financial blessing from an awesome couple AND a friend bought my car that I needed to sell before moving.

I want to give you a little background on this couple. They have very generously sponsored me for my mission trips for the last 3 years. They are a couple who just had a heart to help send me on these mission trips and they didn't even know me. Well, a couple of weeks ago I finally got to meet this couple whom I affectionately call my "support angels". It was an awesome experience for me getting to know them. I was so humbled and honored that they thought I was amazing and such an encouragement to them. The whole time I kept thinking that they were the ones who were so amazing and a huge blessing and encouragement to my life.

I received a card from them yesterday that said the following....

"We really enjoyed our recent opportunity to meet with you! It was great to meet you and spend some time getting to know you better. You encouraged us greatly. We wish you every blessing as you continue to be obedient and follow Christ's calling.........We send this check in hopes it will help you meet the expenses associated with your move and re-location. ~Blessings".

And inside the card was a check for $1000.00!!!!!!!!!

GOD IS SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am blown away by their hearts and generous spirits. That gift in and of itself was awesome but what was even more awesome was that I knew this gift came right from the Hand of God. You see I do have some significant financial needs that I often pray to God about. There have been several times that as I prayed through my needs this couple has popped into my head. My response back to myself and to God was pretty much this.....

"I'm not asking them for money! Are you crazy! Who does that! That is way too much to ask and not even right of me to do!!!"

Once again I have to say it, GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! This couple has no idea what I prayed or how they would pop into my head. When I met them I never asked them for money. I don't even think I communicated any of my needs. My honest and sincere desire was just to meet them and thank them for blessing my life so much.

So, God spoke something very clearly to me. He said "I just want to bless you because I want to bless you. I just want to love you because I love you. You don't have to work for my love."

He spoke right into that unbelief that was deep in my heart. I didn't do anything special for this couple to bless me generously. I am sure that they just did it because they wanted to. It made me think about how Jesus didn't save me because of anything that I did. I didn't earn my salvation. It was a free gift. He died for me because He loved me! He took my place on the cross because he wanted me to spend eternity with Him. He went that far for me, even to death, because of His great unending love for me!!!

He will go great lengths to love you!